In this election, I have absolutely no expectation to win. I realize that every candidate for the office has traditionally spoken as if his election is a given, but I know better. And the reason I know better is because I am fully aware - now - of the amount of ignorance and depravity among the American electorate. Before our most recent travesty - an election that by all logic and intelligence should have seen the incumbent all but physically tossed from office in a popular vote landslide in spite of widespread voter fraud on the part of his operatives - I had thought the electorate would continue to respond as it has consistently done since the torment of the Carter years.
From the time of Mr. Carter's rejection, America has voted the comfort level of its pocketbook because his particular brand of presidential lunacy shocked the country by showing it the reality of want, and it's obvious what the United States people think of want. If the public perceived the economy as good, it voted for the incumbent. (Witness the effect of a powerfully growing economy in 1984 - Reagan won with 525 electoral votes, winning 49 states.) If it was perceived as bad, the challenger won. This time, that pattern ended. The economy of the United States is worse than it has ever been, and very nearly as bad as it will ever be because for it to get appreciably worse means it will collapse entirely. In spite of this, Barack Obama, consistently blaming his predecessor for the situation, not that he inherited but that he actively sought and campaigned for, continued with the same style of corrupt and immoral policies, enlarging on them to previously unseen levels. Yet still, in the face of a disastrous economy, with wildly inaccurate unemployment statistics that reflect only about half the people who are actually unemployed, 4 years of deficits measured with 7 digits, a debt that is beyond the ability of the human mind to conceive, a "health care" bill that was passed only by means of political bribery and that will destroy health care and probably tip the economic scale, and absolutely no expressions of repentance, he won.
From the time of Mr. Carter's rejection, America has voted the comfort level of its pocketbook because his particular brand of presidential lunacy shocked the country by showing it the reality of want, and it's obvious what the United States people think of want. If the public perceived the economy as good, it voted for the incumbent. (Witness the effect of a powerfully growing economy in 1984 - Reagan won with 525 electoral votes, winning 49 states.) If it was perceived as bad, the challenger won. This time, that pattern ended. The economy of the United States is worse than it has ever been, and very nearly as bad as it will ever be because for it to get appreciably worse means it will collapse entirely. In spite of this, Barack Obama, consistently blaming his predecessor for the situation, not that he inherited but that he actively sought and campaigned for, continued with the same style of corrupt and immoral policies, enlarging on them to previously unseen levels. Yet still, in the face of a disastrous economy, with wildly inaccurate unemployment statistics that reflect only about half the people who are actually unemployed, 4 years of deficits measured with 7 digits, a debt that is beyond the ability of the human mind to conceive, a "health care" bill that was passed only by means of political bribery and that will destroy health care and probably tip the economic scale, and absolutely no expressions of repentance, he won.
Or so it is generally believed. Likely, we will never know the truth one way or the other.
If we assume that voter fraud did nothing more than tip the necessary states, such as Ohio and Pennsylvania, we are still left with the votes from people who actually intended to vote for him. It is these voters that I address, to tell them you will not vote for me, and here's why: If I win . . .
I will not sign any legislation that results in the United States government taking something from one person and giving it to you, under any circumstances, no matter how legitimate your need is. I will refuse the typical traitorous behavior of nearly all previous presidents who employed criminally immoral force to steal the product of one man's labor and give it to another. Even in cases where the need is genuine and humane, the Constitution does not tell the United States government to do that, and if it doesn't tell it to do it, it isn't allowed to do it. Any such matters are up to the states, and if the state doesn't elect to do it, it's up to the people. Period. There will be no further discussion of this matter.
I will not get the economy going.
I will not create jobs.
I will not invest in the country's energy future.
I will not see to it that American education is second to none.
All four of those, and more, are your job, not the president's. What I will do is exert every ounce of influence that I can that does not conflict with the restrictions of my office to get the government out of your way so you can do them without being punished for doing so.
I will not give those who expect I should do so a phone, or any other benefit. There is no Constitutional requirement for me to do so, and even on a presidential salary, I couldn't afford to do it on my own, for there are far too many of you who actually believe you are supposed to get things handed to you for no other reason than the fact that you exist, even if I was so inclined. And I will never be so inclined. Your belief in this matter is unholy, immoral, repugnant, and socially criminal. You do not deserve a free phone, free contraception, free Viagra, or free sunscreen, the last of which I can only assume you're going to be demanding soon enough. On the contrary, with your attitude, what you deserve is to be shunned, humiliated, and hungry. Instead of giving you stuff, which now appears to be the gold standard of presidential campaign tools, I will use the presidential bully pulpit to encourage others to treat you appropriately - as a parasite.
I will not treat you, think of you, behave towards you, or advocate for you any differently because you're a black man or woman. You could thank me for giving you that respect, a respect virtually no Democrat or liberal has ever given you, by sending me a card, but my expectation, based on your consistent voting behavior, is that roughly 98% of you will vote for my Democratic opponent anyway. You almost always do, and I can think of no particular reason why you would change that now, after having had several generation's worth of proof that the Democratic party still believes in slavery as much as it did at the end of The War Between the States. It's nauseating, the way you fawn over people who think you're too stupid to make it without government handouts, but there it is. Change it if you wish
And while I'm on the subject, I won't treat you any differently, regardless of your race, whatever it is. Such behavior is the hallmark of a social neanderthal. But keep in mind, if you expect me to treat you differently because of your race, it is you who is the neanderthal.
I will not play at war. I will not send your sons and daughters to war with any country that has not directly attacked us, and I will not do it under those circumstances without a declaration of war by Congress. Naturally, according to the principle of executive latitude in defense matters explained by Alexander Hamilton in The Federalist Number 23 and in keeping with the purpose of the War Powers Act, I will order immediate and devastating responses to deter the continuation of aggression to provide Congress the time to act. If any country does directly attack us and war is declared, the result will be the indiscriminate and complete destruction of their entire society, mostly by remote control. We will not rebuild the country when it is over. They will be left to consider the horrifying results of their attack, and consider carefully the choice of their future leaders.
I will not support your social causes. They have nothing to do with the duties of the president as found in Article 2, Sections 2 and 3 of the Constitution. If you think you have a case, sell it on your own. My endorsements are not for sale, and your stupid, pathetic expectations of the president to get behind your issue has been a huge contributor to the degradation of the office.
I will not appear on "The View" and refer to myself as eye-candy.
I will not give telephone interviews to shallow-minded, numb-skulled radio personalities who ask irrelevant, childish questions that have nothing to do with the presidency.
I will not be playing golf.
I will not make a big deal out of the fact that everybody helped pay for the roads, as I am assuming this is something someone with a nominal IQ can figure out on their own. (Which may explain why Elizabeth Warren and Barack Obama felt compelled to make a big deal out of it with their supporters.)
I will not physically bow to other leaders. If they can get along with a handshake, good on them; it's all that will be offered.
I will not be sharing my basketball team picks. Not even if I had any.
I will not have a continuous parade of vacuous, fawning movie stars and lousy, Silly Putty-brained musicians in the White House. Very, very few of them would come anyway.
I will not mispronounce "corpsman", or claim to have visited all 57 states.
I will not appoint a series of idiotic sycophants as press secretaries.
To sum up this section, I'm not going to act like an amateur.
I will not smile and pretend I like my political enemies, and there will be a lot of them. Instead, I will call them out by name and specifically name the treasonous activities they are involved in, which would mean anything they do that is not specifically required by the Constitution. In fact, I will call for their resignation, or impeachment to stand trial.
In appointing department heads, judges, and so forth, I will pay absolutely no attention whatsoever to gender or race. For example, I will not give a tinker's damn if the entire Supreme Court is populated either by white males or black women. I will care only that they abide by a strict interpretation of The Constitution, and that they reject the fictions of incorporation and judicial review, the former being colossally stupid and the latter several millions times more so.
I will not campaign for a second term. If you're too stupid to figure out if you want me again after watching me for over three years, then I'd rather not have your vote anyway. And frankly, it's doubtful I'd live long enough anyway. With what I have in mind for the Federal Reserve, they'd probably put me in early retirement.
The list of things I will not do is actually much longer, but I'm sure I convinced you not to vote for me a long time ago.
Oh, and by the way, I shouldn't have to mention that this goes for the rest of you, too . . .
